Almost two years after the death of their daughter Savannah Chrisley’s ex-fiancé Nic Kerdiles, the Chrisley Knows Best alums are speaking out for the first time.

“It’s been so painful for me, but I’ve had so many people send me messages on Instagram wanting to know why I haven’t discussed it,” Todd, 56, said on the Aug. 20 episode of the Chrisley Confessions 2.0 podcast. “I just wasn’t ready to discuss it. I actually am not ready to discuss it today. But out of respect for Nic and the love that we have for him today and will have for him for the rest of our days, I’m going to have this conversation one time and I’m never talking about it again.”

“My heart has not healed,” he continued. “And I don’t know if it ever will heal.”

Nic died in September 2023, following a motorcycle accident in Nashville at age 29. For Todd, it was the “hardest thing” he’s ever dealt with in his life. Still, he looked back fondly at the former NHL star, who was with Savannah from 2017-2020.

“Nic Kerdiles was one of the finest, funniest, kindest young men,” he explained. “I so wanted he and Savannah to be married. I wanted grandchildren and that didn’t come to pass. But even when they broke up, I still had lunch with Nic, we’d text a million times a day.”

Todd recalled learning about Nic’s death while serving his time in a Florida prison—after being found guilty of tax evasion and other convictions—during a visit with their children Savannah, Grayson, 19, and Chloe, 12.

“Chloe ran to me and was crying,” he shared. “I said, ‘What’s wrong?’ and she [Savannah] fell into my arms, and she said, ‘He’s gone.’ I said, ‘Who’s gone?’ ‘Cause all I could think of was Chase. I said, ‘Who’s gone?’ and she said ‘Nic,’ and I remember just crumbling, I didn’t care who saw it in the waiting room.”

He added, “It was truly so surreal that I became numb, and we cried that whole visitation.”

For Julie, the reality of Nic’s death set in when she and Todd returned home from prison following presidential pardons in May.